Monday, July 27, 2015

Another 100 things about me

1. I have green eyes.
2. I have a gluten free diet now due to Celiac Disease.
3. Currently I am single.
4. I'm a clumsy girl. I have fallen down multiple flights of stairs over the years.
5. I really like structure in my life.
6. Definitely a confidant...
7. I haven't always been thin.
8. Horror movies suck. Far too stressful for my taste.
9. I love quirky humor the most.
10. I accept my flaws and acknowledge them internally without having negative self thoughts.
11. I'm learning to live for Today.
12. Dancing like no one is watching out in public feels wonderful.
13. Life seems to have become much more social outside the home.
14. My ex husband and I do not see eye to eye.
15. I have a child who suffers from depression.
16. I have a child who has ADHD.
17. My family history is very sordid I've discovered.
18. I cut my hair short last year and decided that I really need long hair to feel complete.
19. Jigsaw puzzles are awesome and I love them.
20. Watching Jeopardy! and getting the right answers makes me feel really smart.
21. Still smiling every single day.
22. My car currently has no heat and it's really freaking cold here in the winter.
23. Since the beginning of February I've had no radio in the car either, couldn't get the code.
24. I love my Cancer Society work, yet struggle with fundraising.
25. I recently fell in love but it wasn't to be as he doesn't feel the same way for me.
26. I'm not mad at him in the least and think he's a really great person. We are still friends and see one another occasionally.
27. Experience makes life interesting. I love it.
28. My voice has changed due to smoking.
29. Girls, Sons of Anarchy and Game of Thrones are my current TV obsessions.
30. I'm pretty resourceful when I need to be. :)
31. I've discovered that I truly NEED personal time to properly function.
32. If I have a free night, I am sometimes torn between being alone and being social.
33. I am blessed to have people who love me and appreciate my quirks.
34. Having my dishes done every day helps make my mind at peace.
35. My older son will be 18 years old this year. How the hell did that happen?!
36. Being a mother is beautiful and scary all at once.
37. I found out last year that my bones are soft and I will likely have Osteoporosis. Weird.
38. Running would be so wonderful for me. I've been walking with a friend, it's coming.
39. Hiking is SO much fun.
40. I'm small but mighty.
41. I LOVE FOOD. Just in a general way. Could never starve myself. Yum.
42. I'm aging gracefully thus far. How lovely.
43. Younger men seem to be attracted to me when I'm out.
44. I enjoy younger men.
45. I don't object to men my own age, however, they must be able to keep up with my energy.
46. It's taken me several months to compose this post.
47. As of the beginning of July, I officially resigned from my position as Leadership Chair in an organization.
48. I held said position for 4 years...WOW!
49. My son is graduating next June and I had to make a choice so that I am focused on my family first.
50. My ex husband moved out of province 2 years ago, however, has just moved back to the area.
51. BOO for me...WONDERFUL for my boys!
52. My eldest son did not want to continue with shared custody and came to live with me full time in January of 2013.
53. I was happy to have him, yet greatly saddened at the breakdown of his father/son relationship.
54. My sincere hope is that having his father and family back in the province will help that situation.
55. As I write this, there is a 25 year reunion going on for the graduating class of 1990, just a year after my own.
56. My high school boyfriend graduated that year and I am seriously considering Reunion Crashing.
57. I wear a tiara on my birthday. It's my day and I'll brag if I want to.



58. Last summer, I tried online dating. I stopped going onto the site by September.
59. It served a purpose, as the goal was to meet new people *men*, which I did.
60. There are 2 men who I've kept in touch with, though I am quite sure it's down to 1 now.
61. The one remaining is a complete and utter mystery, but I am somehow drawn, though I only see him once in a while.
62. Bras are very uncomfortable and I try to wear things that don't require one, especially when it's warm outside.
63. Good news! The car radio is working. Still need to get things fixed up for heat upcoming.
64. I'm getting more grey hairs but they are randomly dispersed and are of no great concern.
65. Have you all watched "Orange is the New Black"? I love it.
66. I've been working for the same company for nearly 15 years.
67. Skinny men are my preference physically. I will notice you first, men with runner's bodies!
68. I am in need of a very positive and calm partner.
69. Finding a mate is all about finding your "brand of weird" in my opinion.
70. We all have our baggage and need to find another who can help us as much as we can help them, thus understanding.
71. I am both open to finding love and afraid of finding it simultaneously.
72. Negative people aren't healthy for me, so I keep them at a distance as much as possible.
73. Last fall, my eldest son pointed out to his friends at my house that I have "thigh gap". Very uncomfortable since I didn't realize why he has asked me to stand still a moment.
74. I have so much energy! Whew, I wear myself out sometimes.
75. By the way, I totally DID crash the high school reunion party. It wasn't formal, just held at a bar open to the public as well. It was worth it.
76. I'm ever grateful for the good people I have met over throughout my life.
77. In my teen years, I was heavily involved in religion.
78. I believe it helped to keep me out of trouble in my youth.
79. Just saved it for later is all. hahaha
80. For various reasons, I am much calmer today than I've ever been.
81. You know? I flipped through my facebook profile and discovered that I really don't say anything negative on there. Cool beans.
82. I am obsessed with "So You Think You Can Dance". Seriously. Watch This!
83. I think that my best friend Sunshine may have met the man she will marry. Time will tell.
84. She jokes about eloping and I told her NO NO NO! Not unless I'm stowed away. ;)
85. I have so much love in my heart.
86. Summer humidity is working well with my curls right now. Yay me!
87. I would very much enjoy being desired for my mind.
88. Making mental "grateful lists" is extremely helpful.
89. Having someone in my life that can cook for me would be incredibly nice.
90. I deserve happiness.
91. So do YOU.
92. I am a secret closet hoarder *mostly paper stuff* and I try to purge but struggle with it.
93. My current state of mind feels very healthy.
94. I still have work to do and am not yet jogging.
95. I'm totally into someone who understands what mutual pleasure really means.
96. That goes for non-sexual and sexual situations.
97. My Bubba turns 12 next month. Again...WTF?
98. I got another tattoo since my original 100 things post.
99. People often touch me with kindness. Sometimes I don't know what to do with it all. :)
100. I am going to my "peaceful place" with the boys just before school starts...ahhh...


Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Classy Lady, yep, that's me...

I've said this before and it doesn't hurt to say it again...damn I'm clumsy. You can totally dress me up but there's no saying how long I'll say in all together good condition, especially in the winter. Case in point, last weekend I went out to the nudey bar with some friends *at the birthday girl's request, of course*. After arriving home not too many drinks in, I slipped on some ice and fell directly onto my ass. So awesome, as you can well imagine. It was on the cheek rather than the tailbone to my great relief. I fell down a few days later while home at lunch and got called out by the mailman. He was kind and said "you Ok? Probably hurt your pride most of all." So fucking true. Holy hell...

Large blue bruise on that asscheek I might add.

A couple of weeks before that I went out on the town for the first time in a few years. What I mean is that I drank with a friend and went to the area of the city where there is a cluster of dance bars and partied our little asses off. ;) Different kind of clumsy that night really.

As you know, I really do enjoy a good party night and this was no exception. *By the way, this is a very long way to tell you a clumsy story but please forgive me as I really do get distracted by shiny things* Several months ago I ran into a couple of ladies who I met a long time ago and hadn't seen in at least 14 years. After they got over the initial shock of the smallness of me, we exchanged numbers and eventually did the facebook thing. One of the ladies is single and really likes to go out. She had asked me several times over the past few months and finally we got together. We drank wine as we got ready and had a wonderful time just talking and laughing.

Ok, so MAYBE we overdid it just a little bit...took a cab to bar #1 where I b-lined for the washroom to relieve myself of some of the wine. I wish I could say that I just had to pee, but alas...vomit was upon me. I managed to be extremely tidy about the whole affair, cleaned up, reapplied the lipstick and headed out for a drink. Yeah...that's how I roll sometimes. I found my way to the dance floor and was having a grand ole time when I was tapped on the shoulder and asked to leave.

WHAT? FOR REAL? BUT I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN! Ok fine, so yeah I think someone heard me in the washroom or perhaps I was having more trouble standing than I thought. ;)

Clumsy...

Off the bar #2 we went with gusto! I was so ON that night, talking to all sorts of random people and really having a bit of a party in head, which didn't hurt. While always keeping her in my line of sight, I left my friend at the bar and headed to find a dance partner. Truthfully if I like the song enough I will simply go alone to the dance floor, find a group of girls or a man who catches my eye and get my groove on. Mmm mmm I love to dance! Next thing I know my friend has been told to leave. BOO! In both cases it was sited that we were just plain too drunk. hahaha

Clumsy...

We headed off to bar #3, which is really several bars under the same name. It's kinda cool really because just walking through a set of open doors and down a platform to stairs brings you to a whole different vibe. It's the place where everyone goes last though because it's open late. "Last chance for romance" sort of place, although really, I wasn't out to pick up. I'm all about dancing. I like to work out the sex stuff in advance when at all possible. ;)

All in all, we had a fabulous time. I had just gotten a haircut and was feeling really awesome. As you can read I am going out and being with people, which is ultimately very good for me. Having the boys here full time instead of shared has made such an impact on personal time in my comfort zone. I needed to learn to be more comfortable in the environment of others. I find this a bit of a challenge but it is going really well. Life is good...

I'm going out again this coming weekend and hope to take some pictures.

Below you will find a bobblehead picture of me. I was SO excited because I got my feet into the picture...yay!





*click please*

Monday, February 23, 2015

Misty Monday Confessions of life in general

OK, so I've been away for like ever so what the fuck, right?

Ahhh life.

High on the ah, low on the life...that's how Red and I say it when we're talking about this and that. Life moves on. It doesn't stop for nothin. hehehe

*2013 was a total dud, though there's never a year where NOTHING good happens. There was a lot going on concerning custody I'm not even going to elaborate because it's far too complex and I don't feel like it.

*2014 improved but was filled with rough patches.

*obviously there's a huge amount of information that I'm excluding but it's 11:35 and I've only got 24 minutes left of Monday.

*I LOVE my private time. I've experienced MUCH less of it in the past couple of years but I am adjusting.

*My kids are living here with me full time now. have been since July of 2013, the eldest since January of that same year.

*My friend Red was having some troubled times and also lived here on and off over the past couple of years as well.

*I went on a dating site and tried it that way. I felt less confident after two months than I had before I started.

*I still love sex and am in the pursuit of happiness...

*I can't believe what I'm leaving out here!

The bitch is back...

xoxo
loves autumn

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Peek-a-Boo Cheer HNT

This year went by even faster than ever! *note, i said that last year too* I somehow always feel shocked when the year is gone. Is it just me, or does that happen to all of you as well? No question age has something to do with it!

This past year has been extremely eventful. When we decide to have children, we give careful consideration to how our parenting skills will be with infants and toddlers, given that those the first stages, and while we realize they DO grow up, we don't consider all the trials and tribulations ahead. I think if we had the true foresight...we would be much more frightened by our daunting tasks. As I wrote over here, my first born is growing up at a rapid pace. I am well aware of the nature of teenage boys and really, I get it...however, there will never be a time when I give him permission to have sex in my home or provide my teenage son with a place to do that. Obviously I cannot control what he does outside these walls, but we, as parents must make sure to communicate with the parents of their love interests so that everyone is on the same page. Should be a given, but some folks just don't give a shit. The mother of the last girlfriend made zero effort to communicate, in fact made very bad choices and kept us from speaking with our son while he was in her home. The kids did break up shortly after all the drama. Little miss was less than satisfied with our decision to keep visits limited to our homes. Fast forward to the following month when, two days before Relay in June, as my son tells me (after many discussions about his recent insomnia) that he is suicidal. I cannot tell you how I felt in that moment. We spoke again that night, (since these words were spoken on the way to the school bus before work) and we got him into an emergency counselling session the following day and throughout the entire summer. He was also cutting his arms and hiding it under hoodies and 3/4 sleeve shirts. We are watching him closely, however, he has a new love interest who is quite lovely and appears to have many future goals for herself. They have known one another since they were in grade three and we are feeling pretty good about how things are going right now. As Os wrote in his Three Christmas Wishes post, I will most definitely need the multi colored fly swatters in the near future. And to think...I have to go through this again in just a few more years with bubba. All I can do is the best I can do. This too shall pass. ;)

Gawd that was a total downer! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all! 2013 is going to be absolutely FABULOUS I can feel it. ;)

Still not real keen on "putting myself out there" to the local dating pools, however, I am setting goals for the next year to really make an effort to accept invitations to social gatherings, regardless of whether or not I can eat the food offered. I know it sounds funny, but my sensitivities are quite severe and have turned me into one of those annoying types in restaurants who ask a million questions to the staff. I avoid eating out and choose to cook for myself mostly. I do understand though, that I will never get out of my bubble comfort zone if I do not make an effort in this area.

I will be compiling my burn list this weekend. I was going to link the original post but have just discovered that when they changed the blogger program, all the posts that were transferred from my wordpress blog are GONE from my post list. This is making me a little cranky. I am off to check my blog and see if they are still actually posted...more later...ta-daaaaa!!!  They are still on my blog, thank goodness

*********************************************************************************

So, my friend mr. unreliable, who I have spoken about before decided that this year I needed some Christmas gifts. He got me a couple of kitchen things, some yoga gear and the attire seen below...ulterior motives hmmmm?


*click please*


*click please*

Now go see Osbasso, leave a comment and let everyone know your post is up! happy thursday...ummm...I totally forgot to use these links in the post. oops! :)

HNT_1

Click the button below to see some sultry photos

the-otherhnt

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Just Breathe

I haven't written much in a long time now. I have so much to say, but where to start?

I got a new tattoo that I wanted to show you all once you're done reading...now don't just ignore the text you dirty little freaks! It's important information you know. I went to the same guy that did my butterfly since he did such a great job. This one represents to me the need to take a moment...step back and calm myself before doing or saying anything. I have a bad history of anxiety issues that have caused me great upset in the past and I've been striving for years now *quite successfully I might add* to find that balance...that inner peace that makes every day incidents easier to accept and deal with.

See? I'm sitting here seriously trying to determine what to say in this particular post. I think I will just go ahead and say it...the dirty blond and I have parted ways. It happened in July (shortly after my birthday) but I saw it coming. It is meant to be this way, but as I have indicated on multiple occasions right here in this blog...I always knew it would come to an end at some point, so while very sad, it is tolerable. The age difference and complications are just too great to overcome. I promised to write him a letter, sort of the story of us I suppose. I am struggling with it because it brings up so much raw emotion in me. We are still friends, of course. Since that fateful day in July we have seen one another 3 times. Once in mid August, September, and then for our last intimate encounter...less than 2 weeks ago. He hasn't shared my bed to sleep since July though. Since I made a replica of his fine, fine cock during that last visit *the conclusion of our business together* I will have to write a separate post for that. Intrigued? I sure hope so! It was so much fun. ;)

So I think I will leave it at that for now. I sure hope to get a little feedback from anyone interested in knowing what's up in my world. I am so sorry to be such a bad blogger friend. I am so grateful that I found this place to share my thoughts whenever it suits me.



*click please - slick with coconut oil haha*


Sunday, November 25, 2012

My Favorite Things...a re-post from years past

I spent a lot of time writing this little song...enjoy!

To the tune of "My Favorite Things" from "The Sound of Music"

A partner who'll call me his "little sex kitten"
Warm sunny days that require no mittens
Pretty pink boxes of bright shiny bling
These are a few of my favorite things.

Sexytime, lovers and pink leather paddles
Spanking my ass now be quiet, don't tattle!
Butterflies gliding on colorful wings
These are a few of my favorite things.

Sleek, stylish outfits and open toed sandals
Candy and chocolate and sweet smelling candles
Sipping a beer on the deck in the spring
These are a few of my favorite things...

When there's pimples and bad hair days
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
and then I don't feel so baaaaaaaaad!

Monday, September 24, 2012

Password Reset

Ok, so I hadn't checked my email for several days and when I did look last night, I found a message from wordpress.   You see, before I had this beautifully designed custom blog by Blogbunnie...I had a loverly wordpress blog.  Ms.Blogbunnie transferred my posts (with the exception of a few that simply didn't make it) from there to here when she designed it, so my email addy is still the same and all of that.  Curious, wouldn't you say that someone would go into my old blog to request a new password?  hmmmm...I don't consider myself to be a spiteful or grudging person, however, the first name that came to mind was the pig.  After these four growing, healing years it came to mind unwanted, and while I hate that it comes to mind at all...I can't help but wonder.  Perhaps that sounds a bit paranoid and ridiculous, but trust me...he is the type of man who might spot you in a store, follow behind you and spit on your back just because of his negative feelings towards you.  Seriously...I kid you not.  Otherwise, I would have to say it was some random thing, I dunno...some fucked up hacker or something?  Any thoughts on why someone would try to get into my private places...hmmm?